Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Another theory on socks

Laundry day is the only exciting day in the life of clothes. It is. No, think about it. The washing machine is the nightclub of clothes. You, know, it's dark, there's bubbles happening, they're all kind of dancin' around in there.  Shirt grabs  the underwear, 'Come on, babe, let's go.' You come by, you open up the lid, they all freeze.

Socks are the most amazing article of clothing. They hate their lives; they're in the shoes with stinky feet, the boring drawers. The dryer is their only chance to escape an' they all know it. They do escape from the dryer--they plan it in the hamper, the night before. "Tomorrow, the dryer, I'm gettin' out!"   

"You wait here."

The dryer door swings open, the sock is waiting up against the side wall. [Flat against the wall, looking left and right, cautious.] He hopes you don't see him, an' he goes down the road [hums a jaunty tune] They get buttons sewn on their face--join a puppet show.

Seinfeld--Pilot episode.


Kim said...

Okay, not a Seinfeld fan but this is hilarious.

Sarah Kay said...

Neither am I--a friend of mine acted it out for me and I LOVED it! I've been looking for it ever since. I think my socks have a special underground railroad or something--they're very good at escaping 'round here.

小小彬 said...



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