Thursday, November 20, 2008

I Think I Can . .I Think I Can. . .No I Can't, Not Today

Today, well this whole week has been tough.  Not because anything disturbing happened, but my monster has been winning.  The past few months have been amazingly successful, new diet gave me the energy to exercise, which keeps the blood pumping to the muscles and the brain so that I can balance my precarious world with the right foods, the right sleep, the right meds at the right time and so on and so forth.   Changes in weather have always been hard, and the cold, and rain have now settled in my brain.     

I was describing the brain fog to my husband:  It's like having that car with the unpredictable starter?  Some mornings she starts up just fine and you feel like a normal member of society.  Other mornings you have to crank and coax until finally you can make it out of the drive way.  You plan your day so you don't have to make too many stops b/c you never know when she's going to refuse to start.  This morning, well the battery was flatter than flat, all you hear is an ominous clicking sound telling you to scrap your plans for the day.

On days like today I find the peanut butter in the freezer and Sophia shoes in the dryer, none of which are her fault, it's the monster's fault.  The little green leach that seems to gain my strength and stripe me of my ability to focus.   My mother called this morning--after two sentences she could tell I was hurting again--it didn't help that I've forgot a major favor she asked me for--sigh the monster wins again. 

1 comment:

Sarah Herman said...

I hope you feel better, I can emphasize with you. Keep up the diet and exercise it makes a world of difference in the long run!

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