Friday, December 05, 2008

Triple Grande Skinny Vanilla

An oxymoron or a great latte?

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are--can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.”              -Tom Hanks, You’ve Got Mail

   Triple Grande Skinny Vanilla,  as it rolled off the barista’s tongue it sounded more like a nick-name than an order.   I have to admit I kinda liked it.  For those of you who don’t enjoy your vices as much as I do, let me translate. This in Starbucks-speak means I ordered a Medium, Caffe-Late with sugar-free Vanilla syrup, skim milk and an extra-shot of espresso.  Whew!

Most day’s I’m a French-press girl, with a little milk and sweetner, in college I got hooked on coffee with raspberry  syrup and cream, for the price of a cup of coffee I got the feel of a snazzy-latte, it’s been my  standing order ever since.  Pink Coffee, what could be better?   Anything with a shot of espresso has to be fabulous, I love caffeine, put it in my shampoo—anywhere come on! 

Admittedly, I rarely do shots of espresso standing at the bar like the Europeans, but in Paris Nate & I made the ultimate café mistake.  We discovered the real reason for the standing shot! My husband claim’s its to get you back in the game after a two-hour lunch with wine.  True though this may be, standing in the subway station you notice the small ledge with Parisians trying to look non-chalant while they inhale a croissant du chocolate and an espresso.  The incredible smell of fresh bread alone was enough to make me want to hang around. But like the American that I am, I grabbed my breakfast and drink (sans top) and headed to the train, with my husband sort of hanging back—he knew we were being counter cultural but I had no idea!  Till we boarded the train, grabbed a seat and tried to continue our breakfast. After all we had a forty minute ride into the city.  So why was everyone staring? The French don’t stare at ANYONE!  Believe me, you can make-out passionately ANYWHERE! 

There is no private and public space, and they don’t bat an eyelash if you want to use the subway as your bedroom. But God forbid you’d eat there!  The entire time we were in Paris, we never offended people as badly as trying to drink a coffee on the train!  Who knew that the coffee cozy and the burn free lid were such an American invention?  So back to my good American brand latte that comes with a shot of personality. Seeking an identity in a cup of joe, it doesn't get much more descriptive than a Triple Grande Skinny Vanilla. How ‘bout Tall, Double, Skinny, Vanilla, Extra Hot?!?


Sarah Herman said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, grande nonfat sugar free lattes from starbucks, get them every day I'm at class. Oh and on the weekends! Hope to see you saturday.

Okobojian said...

That's funny. I totally have a pet-peeve about people eating around me, that is if I'm not also eating. I'm really annoyed by the sounds and sights of digestion. Guess it must be genetic from my french fathers.

annikadurbin said...

Triple tall non-fat no-whip toffee nut latte. That's me. But I'm starting to realize there are WAAAAY too many Starbucks purchases showing up on my bank account...I gotta cut back. Especially when I start up-grading to grandes...although I really cannot drink a whole grande before it's goes cold so I mostly get the talls. Anyhow...they are sure hard to resist in this winter weather, huh?


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