I have to keep asking myself how I get into these situations. Granted I will admit I am an over-achiever, and a recovering people pleaser but the thing that gets me in the most trouble, is that I am an optimist. This may be great for most aspects of life but I have realized it may be my “fatal flaw.” For some stupid reason I say yes to the most IMPOSSIBLE jobs and don’t have the sense to say, “How are we going to do that?” or maybe “Excuse me?!? Can I get a little HELP here!”
No I have to smile and tough it out all while I am under experienced and overworked. I am not really blaming anyone else but myself. I get me into these crazy situations and hate to let anyone down until it’s absolutely apparent that I have no clue how to do it all.
Yesterday I learned way too much about myself, including the fact that my exuberant optimism gets me into so much trouble. It’s a very humbling state to have to call your dad b/c you’re sure everyone’s figured out you’re a fraud and they’re going to drum you out of the office any minute now. Over lunch I didn’t get much sympathy from my dad. He really believes in my abilities and wanted to set me straight that I was simply in a really tough situation.
I know I am just cutting my teeth in the working world but then I asked a question that I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of before. I realized how many men my husband considers mentors. He’s got a list of people who have invested in him that have more experience and wisdom as husbands, Christians, and also senior level corporate positions. Light bulb moment! Where are the Christian business women that can mentor me?
My dad’s response.
“Well, if you want the God’s honest truth? Around here I don’t know of another Christian woman that I would consider more successful than you.”
Of course that made me cry, what an amazing father!
At this point I had a very sad revelation. I know amazing women in the workforce that I look up to, heads of firms, and board of directors but unfortunately none that I go to church with. I know fabulous women that I go to church with, great mothers, wonderful Christian women, but there seem to be a gap. I don’t know what that says about us as Christian women?
Thankfully I have some very successful peers, women that have achieved great things for the Lord that are looking out for me. But for now I am on a quest. Where did all the female Christian leaders go?
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