When did Cedar Rapidians become such prolific and/or picky coffee drinkers? And an even more puzzling question: Why? As anybody who spends much time around the metro area must have noticed, over the past few years there’s been a big increase in the number of shops whose primary business is brewing and selling the stuff. Obviously, it’s not just for breakfast anymore, to purloin a phrase from the orange juice people. A friend of mine has suggested I write about the phenomenon. I’ve been putting it off for a couple of reasons. One was that the coffee houses are sprouting so quickly that anything specific I would write about them would quickly be outdated, and if I were to interview one or two proprietors I would be deluged by others wanting equal space. The other reason I haven’t written about the coffee shop fad was that I couldn’t figure out anything interesting to say about it. As for numbers, the last time I checked Cedar Rapids, Hiawatha and Marion, I came up with 14 places that seem to specialize in selling customers a cup of coffee. If memory serves, four or five years ago there weren’t half that many, and 20 years ago there were none. This brings us to the question of what’s happening. Is Cedar Rapids so boring that people are desperately trying to load up on caffeine in order to stay alert? That sounds like a reasonable explanation, except that if it were just the blast from the bean that was being sought, it wouldn’t be necessary to go to a special place. Every restaurant offers coffee, even the fast-food drive-through places. McDonald’s doesn’t serve it as hot as in the past, but still serves it. Every convenience store has a coffee station. No, if it’s coffee a person wants, a person can get it just about anywhere. Which leads one to the inescapable conclusion that it isn’t coffee people are seeing in the coffee shops. It’s the coffee shop experience. That would explain why these new places appear to be trying to outdo each other in the production of hot, dark liquids that taste like something other than coffee and often sport a head of foam that would do justice to a pint of ale. It is why, instead of a middle-aged woman named Mabel or Gert slapping a cracked mug down on a Formica counter, a stylishly coiffed and dressed young person named Heather or Jerome carefully places a cup on a doily. And why, instead of tipping Mabel or Gert a quarter, you are expected to help Heather and Jerome finance their destination wedding. Does this mean I am critical of people who enter a chic boutique and order something that has no caffeine, is topped with whipped cream and tastes like a Snickers bar? Of course not. This is America, however much the patrons may wish it were Paris or Vienna. My only criticism, if I were to have one, would be to the idea of calling such concoctions ‘‘coffee.’’ Seriously, now, did Juan Valdez spend a lifetime leading that mule of his up into the mountains of Colombia to gather the ingredients for a chocolate caramel cappuccino? Can you imagine Mrs. Olson’s reaction if she poured coffee for the neighbor ladies at the weekly quilting bee and one of them stirred a spoonful of raspberry preserves into her cup? Did you ever wonder why none of us remembers an advertising campaign boasting of coffee that was ‘‘good to the last bit of froth?’’ I think not. Now where was I? Right. Unable to think of anything interesting to say about the proliferation of coffee shops. Still no luck. If I come up with something, I’ll get back to you. Mike Deupree’s column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. He can be reached at (319) 398-8452 or mike.deupree@gazettecommunications.com
Mike Deupree The Gazette
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