Brewed Awakenings

He had all of the virtues I despise and none of the vices I admire.
--Winston Churchill

I miss CAFFEINE! Oh how I miss the buzz of synapses—how thoughts come tumbling out and the thoughts crackle across my brain. I miss the bursts of energy that leave my to do list empty and my house sparkling. I miss the jolt that makes conversations peppier and wit funnier. I miss how much emotional strength I can borrow from a cup of coffee. On my worst days I would wake up in the morning feeling disjointed—like I was unhinged and awkward, able to topple over at the slightest resistance—but somehow a cup (or three) of good strong coffee would pull every thing in tight and I would be me again—or even Super Me able to do almost anything for at least the next two-hours. No matter how big the crash—I was always thankful for that great big boost in the morning.
I never needed the thrill of drugs to get me high--I like my vices thank. But now being a nursing mother there are something’s more important. I can’t say I’ve given it up cold turkey (I am weak) but its an indulgence—and nothing as powerful as I was living on before. It must be part of the curse that came with pain in childbirth—although we’ve practically eliminated the pain part—God makes sure we feel every sleepless night. Everything is more painful and dramatic when I am tired (ask my husband). For me, I think the baby blues was primarily exhaustion. I don’t need drugs I just need a really big cup of COFFEE! So when you stop by the coffee pot this morning—think of me and enjoy!