A Moment of Silence

This week all alone, at my parents home.  

Trying to create something from nothing. 

Praying that God will come down and sit with me, in this beautiful place. 

Bless my hands with the words He has asked me to share with the world.

“I can’t get behind the ambition to be ‘discovered’ as much as I can get behind the ambition to write beautifully and honorably and steadfastly. Here’s what I believe about creativity. I believe that creativity is a living force that thrums wildly through this world and expresses itself through us. I believe that talent (the force by which ephemeral creativity gets manifested into the physical world through our hands) is a mighty and holy gift. I believe that, if you have a talent (or even if you think you do, or maybe even if you just hope you do), that you should treat that talent with the highest reverence and love.

“Don’t flip out, in other words, and murder your gift through narcissism, insecurity, addiction, competitiveness, ambition or mediocrity. Frankly – don’t be a jerk. Just get busy, get serious, get down to it and write something, for heaven’s sake. Try to get out of your own way. Creativity itself doesn’t care at all about results – the only thing it craves is the PROCESS. Learn to love the process and let whatever happens next happen, without fussing too much about it. Work like a monk, or a mule, or some other representative metaphor for diligence. Love the work. Destiny will do what it wants with you, regardless. Just love the work.”

~Elizabeth Gilbert

The Uglier Side of Life

Moving.  .  . it should be a four letter word.  In my opinion--hell would entail constantly moving households.  As I got to thinking, that is what we've been doing since January! 

I grew up moving frequently, across the globe. But now I'm the MOM! Designated coordinator of the stuff, and general manager of our nomadic life. (Think I should put that on a business card? Maybe a tee-shirt.)

This is me this morning. Complete with raccoon suntan in my mom uniform:tank top and work out pants with WAY too much mail to go through.   The lack of make-up is due to my husbands 6 am flight--he won't be home till Friday.  These days, feels like I only put on mascara when Nate & I have an ichat date (sad, but true.) 

Tangent: Nate barely made his flight this morning due to Eastern Iowa Airport Security. You have to ask him about it--we fly all over the world and we've never see anything like this.  It's insane! If he gets arrested some Monday morning --mark my words it had something to do with Cedar Rapids TSA.

Tonight, a neighbor lady asked when we'd moved in?  My mind got stuck on the verb? Have we really moved? A new place? Neighborhood?  Granted, we're living in my parents in-law suite outside of Cedar Rapids, so we're technically home.  But we're FAR from settled. 

It was like a lightbulb went off in my head.  I guess we did MOVE! My daughter keeps asking me when we're leaving Nana's? I've been thrilled to tell her we're not going any where for awhile. Oddly, recognizing the fact that we've MOVED (there's that word again) makes me feel so much better about myself. No wonder I can't keep a thought in my head or find a single pair of matching socks! 

My furniture is in the old place through the end of the month, so very little can be unpacked at my folks. (The furniture here is going back where it came from at the same time. Storage for a missionary family)   I can't even worry about it for the moment but it's insanely distracting! I  have no idea where I put half my household?  Or WHY we ever accumulated so much stuff in the first place!

Today was affirmation of our decision to rent out our home and live with my parents while Nate travels.  Sophia's landed a nasty little cold so besides taking Daddy to the airport, we didn't get much accomplished.  However, at five Papa & Nana swooped in and saved the day! Eating dinner together helped Sophia & I feel normal.  Unfortunately, I think Sophia's sharing her cold with the rest of the family, but I'm still so thankful we're here. It's been an incredible example that home isn't a place, it's a feeling. 

Sassy's Got Style!

"I got style mommy!" You'll have to forgive me. This outfit cracked me up! Sophia was so proud that she dressed herself today.  She did a pretty good job. The Superman tattoo's she and daddy added last night just put it over the top!   

Three Year Old Theology

It would be safe to say, this summer has been a difficult one for Nate & I, but through it all we've had moments that take our breath away. Sometimes it was the scenery, most of the time it was our precious little girl.  Our conversations about God have truly blown my mind. Sophia learned that if we need to fight or when we're in a tough spot we pray that God would fight FOR us. Learning that little ears are listening has been a BIG lesson for us.

After a difficult afternoon in San Francisco, Sophia prayed to 'ask God into my heart" and told her daddy all about it when he came home for dinner.  Sharing these moments with Nate make them even sweeter.  

Sunday night as we tucked Sophia in we were singing and came to a line about "He will wash away my sins."  Sand? She asked, why will God wash away my sand? Instantly, the imagery overwhelmed me as we explained sin, that we have as many sins as there are sands and God's forgiven all of them.

On a lighter note last night we sang something like Jesus died for me.  And she stopped me with a serious observation.  God can't dive mommy. . . . He doesn't have flippers!

There's No Place Like Home!

Industrial Water Slide: $40.00

Monday Night Flight-Cedar Rapids to San Francisco:$380.00

Spending the Afternoon with Your Daughter: Priceless

We're Home!  Sophia, Nate & I landed in Cedar Rapids on the 4th.  (Coming home as a family was worth it--Nate gave me his first class ticket and I rode in total relaxed comfort! Plus we didn't have to pay for our luggage--all 5 pieces--we were gone for 2 months remember!)

Nate headed back Monday night and we're both grateful for the chance to catch up with loved ones.   Sophia & I will be staying at my parents place while Nate commutes home every weekend. The last leg of the project is going to be tough so he could use your prayers. All this coming and going is getting to the both of us. I don't think we'd change a thing about our trip but we're glad to have the family back in Iowa!

Shoes

Thrusting forward on my toes

Trusting forward on my souls

Teetering, balancing all my womanhood

Pinching, strutting all my motherhood

Ever since my little girlhood

Why? Oh, why? Do I love my shoes?

Written at Tamalpa Institute